The Perfect Kiss
A perfect kiss is simple.
Catching it is difficult.
The moment slips away like water trickling through your hands.
Their is no perfect spot or time.
Just a perfect moment when the stars twinkle just right,
and the world shifts to silence for there is only you and another in the universe.
That moment is for you to treasure.
It may not be glorious or as sparkling as you wished.
The moment is yours and his.
To catch the moment you have to look close.
It may be that time in the fountain.
When you had your first kiss.
An unknown burning lighting slowly inside of you.
Perhaps the perfect kiss does not lie with a lover.
Maybe the perfect kiss is from a parent.
That sweet moment when you lay down to sleep.
Your mind still aware of your surroundings
but slowly drifting off to slay the dragons.
They smile sweetly knowing you are theirs.
A symbol of all they love and hold dear.
Before the lights are out a sweet soft peck on the cheek sends you away.
Buzzing is the impression left by them,
like a child's whisper in your ear.
It is soft innocent and tickles a little.
The perfect kiss comes once a life time.
The moment is swift and everlasting.
Leaving you incapable of finding another moment as blissful as it.
The perfect kiss defies all odds.
It drives hopeless romantics wild.
But if you are searching for it you will miss that moment.
You will not capture that kiss in your mind.
It will be lost forever.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Life changing epiphany
Yesterday was about one of the worst days I have had on top of all my other worst days. I have been having a lot of those days as of late. The evening was amazing though. I didn't do anything out of the norm too much. I spent the evening up at the dorms on campus a bit with friends listened to a nerd war occurring on the computers. Not very entertaining but better then just me sitting by myself in a self loathing state. Pathetic I know but we are all entitled to our moments of weakness mine was just an explosion of weakness. The only other thing i did was go bowling and had some McDonald's.
During bowling I was trying not to focus on problems so naturally people watching became my focus. Their was a few groups surrounding us. The couple or date next to us intrigued me the most. The guy was acting like a total tool trying to impress the girl with his bowling skills. The girl on the other hand was acting like a nerd. The thing i noticed though was though they were acting out of the norm both of them had huge smiles slapped across their faces.This was the moment that I realized my way of thinking was hindering in my journey for happiness.
Life is always going to take you down a path that is unfavorable. You still have control of where you end up in life by the choices you make but what you don't have control over is the situations you are presented with to get there. I hope that makes sense to you. The ultimate epiphany i had though is that yes i need to have goals in life and i do have them many of them. Instead of only looking to those goals i need to start living in the present to make them occur. For my entire life i have had dreams beyond dreams of what i want out of life. I have always just lived in my dreams never really experiencing what is going on around me just always looking forward. I as well as some of you out there need to live in today, moment by moment. Keep your goals and dreams in mind but do not let them block out the view that is standing right in front of you. From where i'm standing my view is slightly spectacular with a nice sunrise cresting the tops of the mountains ahead.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The laws of attraction: what causes you to seek out your Adonis?
Relationships require several key components. As with many relationships attraction begins the spark of what later is confused as love. Let us take an alternate view as to what creates attraction. Is that heart stopping smile an unexplained stop to all other smiles you see or is just a cascade of physiological events occurring in your brain and heart.
For biology's sake we have an innate drive to seek out prime partners and mate. We are built to pass our genes on. This is the point of life in the animal world. To better ensure that our genes are passed on the best possible way we seek out the perfect partner. For example I prefer a male with dark hair, dark eyes, tall, lean, humorous, sane and fit. I get signals from these characteristics that this fellow would be a good mate. It has been suggested by Helen Fisher that " when pursuing a specific mate your sensory, cognitive and memory neural systems are activated. The main system activated is the courtship attraction system."(1) The behaviors that occur with the courtship activation system have been highly associated with "raised levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain".(1)Oddly enough the two hormones are related. Each are biogenic amines derived from the precursor products tyrosine or tryptophan. The hormones act within the central and peripheral nervous system. Dopamine's core functions consist of "reward, pleasure, regulating emotional responses, movement and goal seeking behaviors"(2). Norepinephrine has control over the stress response system. We have all experienced this while giving a speech or standing in front of that special some one. Your heart races, palms sweat, and all function is focused on your respiratory system which means digestion ceases. It is not hard to see why these two specific hormones increase when the courtship system is activating. The dopamine drives your desire for the traits the beloved possesses while the norepinephrine increases based on the amount of precursor being made your body must maintain homeostasis. The pitter patter of your heart flaring up when he/she walks by is your bodies reaction to the norepinephrine.
To further support this idea of a courtship attraction system an experiment was executed. Using fMRI Helen Fisher studied a group of individuals "in love". Her experiment consisted of showing the individual a thirty second view of their significant other's photo and then exposing them to a distraction task for forty seconds. They were then rewarded again by a viewing of the significant other's photo and told to think of a nonsexual experience of the other. After another distraction task was executed for twenty seconds. (1)
From the experiment conducted it was concluded that upon exposure to the photo the reward pathways of the brain were activated. To further prove that the reward system another experiment as conducted. Couples who had been in love for a longer period of time and had lost the shine of puppy dog love were subjected to the experiment. They as well as the previous group were observed through an fMRI machine. In this experiment the individual studied three photographs at the same time. One was of the significant other and the others were of friends with similar traits and the same sex. The conclusion was the same. The dopamine reward system was yet again activated.(1)
All in all love may be a cruel trick of of the brain. Possibly love is created by your brain to drive you to thrive and continue on. Not only pass your genes on but possibly to shape and mold a better human being. I know from experience love tends to make you into a completely different person may be better or it may not. What ever we have love for though whether it be just a way for your mind to encourage you to mate or to become something better.
Resources
1.http://www.helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/Article_final_JRS_06.pdf, Helen Fisher Arthur Aron and Lucy L. Brown, November 13, 2006 Philisophical transactions of the Royal Society, Romantic Love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice, pgs 2173-2176 accessed : 12/13/2011
2.http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dopamine sussex publishers, psychology today, psych basics: dopamine accessed:12/13/2011
For biology's sake we have an innate drive to seek out prime partners and mate. We are built to pass our genes on. This is the point of life in the animal world. To better ensure that our genes are passed on the best possible way we seek out the perfect partner. For example I prefer a male with dark hair, dark eyes, tall, lean, humorous, sane and fit. I get signals from these characteristics that this fellow would be a good mate. It has been suggested by Helen Fisher that " when pursuing a specific mate your sensory, cognitive and memory neural systems are activated. The main system activated is the courtship attraction system."(1) The behaviors that occur with the courtship activation system have been highly associated with "raised levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain".(1)Oddly enough the two hormones are related. Each are biogenic amines derived from the precursor products tyrosine or tryptophan. The hormones act within the central and peripheral nervous system. Dopamine's core functions consist of "reward, pleasure, regulating emotional responses, movement and goal seeking behaviors"(2). Norepinephrine has control over the stress response system. We have all experienced this while giving a speech or standing in front of that special some one. Your heart races, palms sweat, and all function is focused on your respiratory system which means digestion ceases. It is not hard to see why these two specific hormones increase when the courtship system is activating. The dopamine drives your desire for the traits the beloved possesses while the norepinephrine increases based on the amount of precursor being made your body must maintain homeostasis. The pitter patter of your heart flaring up when he/she walks by is your bodies reaction to the norepinephrine.
To further support this idea of a courtship attraction system an experiment was executed. Using fMRI Helen Fisher studied a group of individuals "in love". Her experiment consisted of showing the individual a thirty second view of their significant other's photo and then exposing them to a distraction task for forty seconds. They were then rewarded again by a viewing of the significant other's photo and told to think of a nonsexual experience of the other. After another distraction task was executed for twenty seconds. (1)
From the experiment conducted it was concluded that upon exposure to the photo the reward pathways of the brain were activated. To further prove that the reward system another experiment as conducted. Couples who had been in love for a longer period of time and had lost the shine of puppy dog love were subjected to the experiment. They as well as the previous group were observed through an fMRI machine. In this experiment the individual studied three photographs at the same time. One was of the significant other and the others were of friends with similar traits and the same sex. The conclusion was the same. The dopamine reward system was yet again activated.(1)
All in all love may be a cruel trick of of the brain. Possibly love is created by your brain to drive you to thrive and continue on. Not only pass your genes on but possibly to shape and mold a better human being. I know from experience love tends to make you into a completely different person may be better or it may not. What ever we have love for though whether it be just a way for your mind to encourage you to mate or to become something better.
Resources
1.http://www.helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/Article_final_JRS_06.pdf, Helen Fisher Arthur Aron and Lucy L. Brown, November 13, 2006 Philisophical transactions of the Royal Society, Romantic Love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice, pgs 2173-2176 accessed : 12/13/2011
2.http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dopamine sussex publishers, psychology today, psych basics: dopamine accessed:12/13/2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Singin' in the Rain
Life sucks.Life seems to maintain a funny pattern. You are born. Enjoy a blissfully happy childhood. You get old and disaster knocks at your door to politely say "I am here to fuck you up". This is where Singin' in the Rain comes in handy. You all have heard of the movie or heard the song at least once. In the movie it features a man in love singing the song in a monstrous Hollywood rainstorm. Every bit of him is soaked and cold. He didn't even get an invite into his dates place. Though i know times were different and getting a kiss was probably the equivalent of today's dinner and bed. The point of this song is metaphorical. Whether you are immersed in rain or if the world just seems to be raining on you a smile will always make it better. You have to keep tromping on through the rain with a demeanor of happiness. No matter what happens you control how miserable it is through how you deal with it.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
With all things in this life a beginning must be enacted to create anything. For an extraordinary idea to burst from the cerebrum of a human or a biological reaction to occur all things must start from scratch. Since this blog is going to be mostly devoted to analyzing love lets explore a few examples related to the beginning.
Adam and Eve the ultimate beginning in the eyes of some ( not me) are a very intriguing case. On one side Eve can be seen as the cause and reason for all evil AND PERIODS!!!!! She tooketh friuteth frometh the forbidden tree of knowledge (shoot me if i'm wrong). I believe God set her up. He is after all the one who created them with his very being. The dilemma "God" created between men and women. Men see exactly what is in front of them and only one route to the object the eludes them. Women,on the other hand, see what lies in front of them and EVERY possibility and minuscule route that can be taken to gain the desired object. The second piece of evidence that the fruit was a setup God told them DO NOT EAT THE FRUIT. You can touch the tree, look at the tree and even smoke pot at the tree BUT DON'T EAT THE FRUIT!!!! Gods reasoning because I do not want you to have "the divine knowledge". Here's what I see as the ultimate set up for either sex. If you have ever been around children you know that if you tell someone not to do something they will eventually end up doing it intentionally or unintentionally life is funny this way.
As the story continues they notice that well yes they are naked and they have disobeyed. The arch angel Micheal, I believe, shoos the two most abruptly out of the garden. Nonetheless with a giant sword of doom. God leaves them alone and with the knowledge that they are naked. Of course they procreate. What else are you going to do besides figure out what will fit in what hole. The story ends bitter sweet. Eve and Adams offspring Cain doesn't fall far from the tree. Cain decides to commit the first murder in the history of the world by killing his younger brother Abel. From most religious aspects his motive was jealousy due to Abel being favored in God's ever seeing eye. God is a twisted being dangling things in your face and saying no. This often leads to evasive action. Though temptation is not a good thing to give in to it's a test we should all pass but as i said previously our minds are like children. For the good happy ending Adam and Eve go on to continue procreating and populating the world. In terms of the bible we are all related and yes that person you adore according to this theory is your relative in some form.
2. Selene & Endymion
Selene and Endymion are by far my favorite tale of love. Selene was known through out many ancient pantheon religions as the moon goddess. She had many names and ideas of her being. One thing that seemed to stick to her was her mortal lover Endymion. The most common form of their tale takes a typical pattern.
1.
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| ADAM & EVE http://static.artbible.info/large/cranach_adameva_1526.jpg |
As the story continues they notice that well yes they are naked and they have disobeyed. The arch angel Micheal, I believe, shoos the two most abruptly out of the garden. Nonetheless with a giant sword of doom. God leaves them alone and with the knowledge that they are naked. Of course they procreate. What else are you going to do besides figure out what will fit in what hole. The story ends bitter sweet. Eve and Adams offspring Cain doesn't fall far from the tree. Cain decides to commit the first murder in the history of the world by killing his younger brother Abel. From most religious aspects his motive was jealousy due to Abel being favored in God's ever seeing eye. God is a twisted being dangling things in your face and saying no. This often leads to evasive action. Though temptation is not a good thing to give in to it's a test we should all pass but as i said previously our minds are like children. For the good happy ending Adam and Eve go on to continue procreating and populating the world. In terms of the bible we are all related and yes that person you adore according to this theory is your relative in some form.
2. Selene & Endymion
 |
| Endymion By Alfred Bertram Pegram http://www.victorianweb.org/sculpture/pegramab/3.html |
Selene and Endymion are by far my favorite tale of love. Selene was known through out many ancient pantheon religions as the moon goddess. She had many names and ideas of her being. One thing that seemed to stick to her was her mortal lover Endymion. The most common form of their tale takes a typical pattern.
Selene is doing her duty of bringing night to the world when she happens to gaze upon a striking mortal, Endymion. As most ancient deities she falls in love instantaneously. Though she knows he is a mere mortal and a shepherd boy (in some versions he is a king) she loves him anyways. To save him from a mortal's fate she begs Zeus (his grandpa or father in some versions) to let Endymion to be in a state of eternal sleep. Zeus granted Selene her wish. To allow Endymion a choice in the matter Zeus allowed Endymion to choose to live out his mortal life, age and die or to fall into an eternal sleep. Endymion choose the latter of course and is said to reside on the top of Mt. Latmos waiting for his dear sweet lover, Selene.
As most myths do it provides an alternate explanation for a natural occurrence. The natural occurrence explains why we have new moons. As the myth continues the two have a total number of fifty children. That calls for a lot of moonless nights and busy lovers.
The thing I love most about this myth is the idea of dedication. If love desires one ingredient it's dedication which is the top choice. Selene though promiscuous choose to be the most dedicated and attached to her Endymion. I question Endymion's intentions a bit though. If you were given a choice to live or die when you are at your physical prime you would most undoubtedly choose to live. Young and dumb is his swaying factors.
Though he may be the exception of men. Choosing to forever stay in one state in one place could be considered the most sedulous act a lover ever did. Waiting for a month alone only dreaming of his Selene only to have her come to him for a short time. A great sacrifice for both but as the saying goes loves conquers all. Whether this statement is true or not i know not.
Further Readings
Poem Endymion and Phoebe (Selene) by Micheal Drayton :http://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/poem/713.html
3. Romeo & Juliet
Romeo and Juliet is the classic Shakespeare tale of two fated teens. They are to be but not to be. I blame this story for all the unplanned babies in the world. The tale romanticizes hormones to the utmost extent. Romeo and Juliet are born in to a feud. From the moment they arrive they already hate each other though they know nothing of one another.
The thing I love most about this myth is the idea of dedication. If love desires one ingredient it's dedication which is the top choice. Selene though promiscuous choose to be the most dedicated and attached to her Endymion. I question Endymion's intentions a bit though. If you were given a choice to live or die when you are at your physical prime you would most undoubtedly choose to live. Young and dumb is his swaying factors.
Though he may be the exception of men. Choosing to forever stay in one state in one place could be considered the most sedulous act a lover ever did. Waiting for a month alone only dreaming of his Selene only to have her come to him for a short time. A great sacrifice for both but as the saying goes loves conquers all. Whether this statement is true or not i know not.
Further Readings
Poem Endymion and Phoebe (Selene) by Micheal Drayton :http://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/poem/713.html
3. Romeo & Juliet
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| Frank Dicksee Romeo and Juliet http://www.nonprints.com/painting/Romeo_and_Juliet_1849.html |
Romeo and Juliet is the classic Shakespeare tale of two fated teens. They are to be but not to be. I blame this story for all the unplanned babies in the world. The tale romanticizes hormones to the utmost extent. Romeo and Juliet are born in to a feud. From the moment they arrive they already hate each other though they know nothing of one another.
Romeo is young and recovering from a previous broken heart. Juliet is young, lonely and easy. She is also bound to marry an old man which I believe is a relative in some form or another. The night of the masquerade allows the two to meet unknowingly to all but the nurse. A saint at heart that lady is. The lovers of course fall in lust. She's hot, he's hot, they're all hot it works. As the tale goes they met more fall more in lust, make love, get married secretly and die. Tale told.
The ultimate question is why is this particular tale chosen to be the greatest love story told. First it involves teenagers with no common sense about the world. The two characters dive into the world of love head first no regrets no question. A feat many strive to achieve but never do. Second reason why this tale is greatest, their love is secret. It creates intrigue and tension. If the two were caught together alive the whole story would have ended with Juliet being grounded from the country and whisked away by her fiance and Romeo chased out by Tybalt. A very boring but sad fate for the two. Which leads me to the third reason of why this story is above all the most epic love story of all time. The death of the lovers creates the last and final tie as to why the story is what it is today. Romeo and Juliet live today because they died a most tragic and idiotic fate. If their pants did not control their brains maybe their plan would have succeeded. Juliet plotted her staged death with out the knowledge of her lover. How could one not think to inform a person directly that they were going to stage their death. Of course teenagers and their pants fail again.
The story overall is as i said a romanticism of hormones and the cause of all unplanned babies. When Shakespeare unleashed this beast upon the world he unleashed a demon. This demon tricks you into lust or in your eyes love. You indulge in the temptation and delight in the fancy that some human being may care for you more than you care for yourself. You give things up such as Endymion did for Selene that you normally wouldn't. Most of all you give your heart to someone because you believe and hope that this is more than just the pants of Romeo and Juliet talking. All i know is nine months down the road a product of your lust is born and you have to deal with it.
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