Alright so if you read my day after dooms day post you will be aware i was seeing someone. You would also know i thought he was beyond amazing. Well time for an update on the status. The deeper relationship is no longer.
We had to end things for reasons beyond typical relationship issues. It devastated me and left me feeling oddly enough filled. When i last had a conversation like the one we had with some one i just felt empty and emotionless. I feel cruel for being that way but it is who i am.
We decided to stay friends which i have no clue how to do. I tried so hard to not cry or just collapse in front of him but i'm pretty sure my stupid eyes couldn't hide my tears. We played a card game after which odd enough i found really comforting.
After a while i just couldn't take it anymore and in a way kicked him out. My mind couldn't stop buzzing with thoughts. What are we going to be and where are we going to go? Am i going to find anyone else like him? Is it even possible to find another person as perfectly imperfect as he is? As soon as i sat in my car all i could do was cry. Every time i thought of his name or said his name it felt like my heart was jumping up in my throat in pain trying to release its self from my body.
For the past week i have been depressed and my mind still will not shut up. I want to be cruel and i want to be greedy. I want to have him back here with me but i know if i asked that of him it would make me feel ten times worse because of the possible consequences. I just want him to be happy even if i have to sacrifice my heart.
Silly thought every single country song now makes sense. All they sing about is heart break and now i have it. Maybe one day it will be better but i'm not counting on it any time soon. I just hope he is happy and keeps making the world a better place with his amazing contagious smile.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Thoughts on Valentines
As of this moment i am in utter confusion. Here is my Valentines story. I rang it in in quite a festive way. Me and some of my roommates decided to make it party Monday. We drank our faces off i n other words. It was amazing, crazy and disgusting all at the same time. My anxiety about a card i made for someone i'm seeing was completely gone. The next morning i still felt and tasted like i was drunk. I didn't wake up for a while. After i did i was actually highly rested. YAY for passing out.
When he finally arrived he gave me a super cool gift card which is going to prove very useful in the long run. I felt so cheesy and weird giving him mine. The skittles he loved the card i think it freaked him out. I know it freaked me out. We took a walk, came back and began to just rest. After a while we decided to play Uno and Phase 10. It was amazing me, him and Kaitlin just chumming it up.
I had also planned a dinner which honestly was about the most amazing dish i have made. The fun part about was him helping me. It was so weird and he was so helpful. It astonished me how smooth it went. The sauce though proved too spicy. The rest was great though i did forget to grab the garnish of the pomegranate seeds.
The whole day was just spectacular even though we did nothing spectacular. I think the thing that did make it spectacular was him. I'm aware this is very uncharacteristic of my man hating ways. He is just something different and special. He takes into account my whole being not just my body. Most of all he makes me smile without even having to try. I'm going to stop there before i become too girly.
When he finally arrived he gave me a super cool gift card which is going to prove very useful in the long run. I felt so cheesy and weird giving him mine. The skittles he loved the card i think it freaked him out. I know it freaked me out. We took a walk, came back and began to just rest. After a while we decided to play Uno and Phase 10. It was amazing me, him and Kaitlin just chumming it up.
I had also planned a dinner which honestly was about the most amazing dish i have made. The fun part about was him helping me. It was so weird and he was so helpful. It astonished me how smooth it went. The sauce though proved too spicy. The rest was great though i did forget to grab the garnish of the pomegranate seeds.
The whole day was just spectacular even though we did nothing spectacular. I think the thing that did make it spectacular was him. I'm aware this is very uncharacteristic of my man hating ways. He is just something different and special. He takes into account my whole being not just my body. Most of all he makes me smile without even having to try. I'm going to stop there before i become too girly.
Monday, February 13, 2012
More Valentines Love Spells
Here are a few more love spells for your Valentines Eve. Have fun with them.
Ingredients
Yarrow
Pillow
When: Before bed
Directions: Place the yarrow under your pillow at night. The first person you see you will marry. Better make sure a hot man is coming by your door.
Ingredients
Cemetery with a church
When: St.Valentines eve
Procedure: Visit the cemetery on Valentines Eve circle the church twelve times. When you finally go to bed you will dream of you future man.
Ingredients
Your crushes window
Wind
When: Full moon
Procedure: Go under your crushes window and whisper their names three times into the wind. either they will fall in love with you or catch you and you will gain a new restraining order.
Ingredients
Seven stars
When: Seven consecutive days
Procedure: Count seven stars for seven nights. The eighth day the person you shake hands with you will marry. So make sure are not meeting with anyone for an interview first thing in the morning.
THE BIG DAY
Men this post specifically goes out to you. I watched a movie called I hate Valentines Day today. It was hilarious but had a message which every guy should learn. A woman does not care about what your gesture of love is it is the fact that you make it. You take the time to be vulnerable for a moment and it shows that she is equally allowed to be vulnerable. To take a chance on you and let her heart go. The simplest thing you can do is say what you feel or pick a dandelion for her. Something that shows her you are thinking about her. The simple things are the best things in life.
Last day until doomsday
Here it is, Valentines Day. The day is making me cringe in a good way. I don't quite understand it though. For the last week or so I have been looking forward to it. This is not me usually I loathe the day and dread it. This year I want it to come and I feel like maybe this will be a day of change for the better. I feel like a robot that has been given a code that does not compute. I have made a card and a present for someone I have been seeing. It is completely cheesy and weird. I wish things like feelings were easy to understand and accept. Sorry this post is just my random thoughts but i had to get them out there.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Valentines day fun!! WHAT?!?!
So to build up to the treacherous day looming near I am going to tell you of some world traditions. I found one all you anti valentine fellows like me would love. In France young and old unmarried people would be forcibly paired. They would met in a house and do what is called drawing out. The act of drawing out is basically doing a come hither. The pair would face other calling to one another and then work their way to the window. If the man did not like her he ditched the lady. The heartbroken ladies would meet up for a bonfire and burn the images of their man. Also at this time they were allowed to yell obscenities and curse their match. Because of the cruel uncanny nature of a scorned woman's wrath the French government had to ban the pairing and calling tradition.
Today elegant cards called cartes d'amities are given out. I much rather prefer the bonfire tradition. I have preformed one of these bonfires fueled by the likes of love letters an pictures of my once boyfriend. I found it quiet relaxing and therapeutic. It was as if he was officially gone from my life once and for all. I believe the tradition of randomly being paired with a fellow would be interesting and exciting for a day and maybe the hopes of screaming and burning the strangers picture in a bonfire would be even more enticing.
Resources
http://www.stvalentines.net/frenchvalentines.htm
Today elegant cards called cartes d'amities are given out. I much rather prefer the bonfire tradition. I have preformed one of these bonfires fueled by the likes of love letters an pictures of my once boyfriend. I found it quiet relaxing and therapeutic. It was as if he was officially gone from my life once and for all. I believe the tradition of randomly being paired with a fellow would be interesting and exciting for a day and maybe the hopes of screaming and burning the strangers picture in a bonfire would be even more enticing.
Resources
http://www.stvalentines.net/frenchvalentines.htm
I put a spell on you!!!
Alright time for some fun boys and girls. I thought since the intensity of the Valentines day is approaching we could explore the magical side of love. I'm not meaning what your thinking i am referring to love spells. I thought it would be interesting to explore the dark side.
Easy love spell
Ingredients: Pen, white paper, pink candle and one aching hungry heart.
When: Friday night.
Procedure: Light the candle and write on the paper your first name and your lovers last name. draw a circle around the names and focus on what you want for you two. Once you have thought about it good and hard chant three times "Our fate is sealed, We are one, So mote it be, It is done!". Think about your loved one for fifteen minutes at least while watching the candle. Repeat for seven days each night.
I think it may just be me but i find this ritual a little creepy and a bit like my seventh grade notebooks. His name my name me drooling about him. I think i was just missing the pink candle.
Here is a more discrete love spell.
Ingredients: one white votive candle
When: Friday night because you don't have a date anyways.
Procedure: Light the candle and proceed to chant "May this flame of passion burn within your heart, from me you will not part with harm to none so mote- it is done!". Now for the boring part sit and think about your love until the candle burns out. DON'T HELP IT ALONG!!
I find this a little less creepy. It is more asking a little bit of permission the will of the lover to bend your way.
Making Prince charming
This one is all about mind power so your like a Jedi but your using the force for ridiculous purposes. I believe there should be a force patrol officer. Yoda would suffice. Alright here is the procedure: Create a visual in your mind of your perfect mate and think about it constantly. Make a relationship collage of of aspects in a relationship that are important to you. Visualize your future with them. Write everything down add your needs and wants. Put it where you will often see it like on the cover of "The Notebook" or possibly the chocolate ice cream inside your freezer. Focus on it often devote all your energy to it say it out loud etc. You will be so caught up in the list that you will find everything or absolutely nothing in the next person you meet.
How to be a gold digger witch style
Ingredients: 1 gold colored candle, benzonin oil, white sugar and a string of pearls.
When: Thursday on a full moon
Procedure: roll the candle in oil and sugar and dry. Place in a candle holder and wrap the pearls around the bottom. Light the candle and chant " Show your love in ways I can see with harm to none, so mote it be!".
Valentines themed spell
Ingredients: One valentines day card, pen, one candle ( red or pink) and one underwear drawer.
When: Valentines day
Procedure: Write name and desire on card. Use the candle to seal the envelope with wax. Put it in your undie draw and wait four months.
Here is your last treat kids and it is a doozy.
How to make Zac Eferon love you..i'm sure this would work with Justin Beiber also....FACE PALM
Ingredients: Photos of Zac/Justin, Zac/Justin doll, a photshopped picture of you two together, a tea candle/male shaped candle, anointing oil and a rose quartz crystal.
When: After watching high school musical.
Procedure: carve into the candle or write on a paper Blank(whom ever you obtained a doll and pictures of) loves Your name. Create an alter using the items. Hold the crystal in your hands and proceed to dance like an idiot around the altar. Make sure you have locked the doors and are blasting the beloveds music. Chant three or more times " ZAC EFERON (change if needed)...Oh, your gorgeous face I wish to hold you in my sweet embrace. May the goddess bring your soul to me because you and i were meant to be.So mote it be!" Let the candle burn for thirty minutes after and concentrate on loving your hunk. Blow it out and wear the crystal until you meet your man....NEVER.
If you take offense to any of this oh well. It is interesting what people are willing to do for love. It makes me question the power it actually holds over the world and why. If you would like more love spells here is the resource of where i found all the ones posted. Have fun and enjoy don't take these things to seriously. http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/love-spells.htm
Easy love spell
Ingredients: Pen, white paper, pink candle and one aching hungry heart.
When: Friday night.
Procedure: Light the candle and write on the paper your first name and your lovers last name. draw a circle around the names and focus on what you want for you two. Once you have thought about it good and hard chant three times "Our fate is sealed, We are one, So mote it be, It is done!". Think about your loved one for fifteen minutes at least while watching the candle. Repeat for seven days each night.
I think it may just be me but i find this ritual a little creepy and a bit like my seventh grade notebooks. His name my name me drooling about him. I think i was just missing the pink candle.
Here is a more discrete love spell.
Ingredients: one white votive candle
When: Friday night because you don't have a date anyways.
Procedure: Light the candle and proceed to chant "May this flame of passion burn within your heart, from me you will not part with harm to none so mote- it is done!". Now for the boring part sit and think about your love until the candle burns out. DON'T HELP IT ALONG!!
I find this a little less creepy. It is more asking a little bit of permission the will of the lover to bend your way.
Making Prince charming
This one is all about mind power so your like a Jedi but your using the force for ridiculous purposes. I believe there should be a force patrol officer. Yoda would suffice. Alright here is the procedure: Create a visual in your mind of your perfect mate and think about it constantly. Make a relationship collage of of aspects in a relationship that are important to you. Visualize your future with them. Write everything down add your needs and wants. Put it where you will often see it like on the cover of "The Notebook" or possibly the chocolate ice cream inside your freezer. Focus on it often devote all your energy to it say it out loud etc. You will be so caught up in the list that you will find everything or absolutely nothing in the next person you meet.
How to be a gold digger witch style
Ingredients: 1 gold colored candle, benzonin oil, white sugar and a string of pearls.
When: Thursday on a full moon
Procedure: roll the candle in oil and sugar and dry. Place in a candle holder and wrap the pearls around the bottom. Light the candle and chant " Show your love in ways I can see with harm to none, so mote it be!".
Valentines themed spell
Ingredients: One valentines day card, pen, one candle ( red or pink) and one underwear drawer.
When: Valentines day
Procedure: Write name and desire on card. Use the candle to seal the envelope with wax. Put it in your undie draw and wait four months.
Here is your last treat kids and it is a doozy.
How to make Zac Eferon love you..i'm sure this would work with Justin Beiber also....FACE PALM
Ingredients: Photos of Zac/Justin, Zac/Justin doll, a photshopped picture of you two together, a tea candle/male shaped candle, anointing oil and a rose quartz crystal.
When: After watching high school musical.
Procedure: carve into the candle or write on a paper Blank(whom ever you obtained a doll and pictures of) loves Your name. Create an alter using the items. Hold the crystal in your hands and proceed to dance like an idiot around the altar. Make sure you have locked the doors and are blasting the beloveds music. Chant three or more times " ZAC EFERON (change if needed)...Oh, your gorgeous face I wish to hold you in my sweet embrace. May the goddess bring your soul to me because you and i were meant to be.So mote it be!" Let the candle burn for thirty minutes after and concentrate on loving your hunk. Blow it out and wear the crystal until you meet your man....NEVER.
If you take offense to any of this oh well. It is interesting what people are willing to do for love. It makes me question the power it actually holds over the world and why. If you would like more love spells here is the resource of where i found all the ones posted. Have fun and enjoy don't take these things to seriously. http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/love-spells.htm
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Dooms day is upon us!!!
Yes folks Valentines day is here...again. Lets bring out the gooey eyed people and bleeding hearts. The history behind this day is a bit interesting. Claudius II banned marriage and Christianity. Claudius believed marriage made the soldiers weak because many hesitated in leaving their families. Claudius also believed he should be the one true god to be worshiped.
As you can imagine Valentine was a saint at the time and disagreed with Claudius. He performed marriages in secret along with sermons. Valentine was caught and sentenced to death. He was beat, stoned and decapitated. His story is not so tragic. Whilst he was jailed he fell in love with the jailer's daughter. His final letter to her was signed with the connotation "From your Valentine". He was killed on February 14th so in turn we celebrate the ideals Valentine stood for, we celebrate love.
I don't believe it's a bad thing to rejoice about. My issue with Valentine's day as with many other holidays is the over play on the simple idea. Things are blown out of proportion for one day. If you don't get a Valentine you feel insufficient as a human being. It's a day where chance and fate seem to be amplified but only because we all have a desire how ever small it is that someone will take a chance. Valentines day becomes a lie of everything Valentine fought to provide for the common man.
RESOURCES
http://www.lhmint.org/valentines/story.htm
As you can imagine Valentine was a saint at the time and disagreed with Claudius. He performed marriages in secret along with sermons. Valentine was caught and sentenced to death. He was beat, stoned and decapitated. His story is not so tragic. Whilst he was jailed he fell in love with the jailer's daughter. His final letter to her was signed with the connotation "From your Valentine". He was killed on February 14th so in turn we celebrate the ideals Valentine stood for, we celebrate love.
I don't believe it's a bad thing to rejoice about. My issue with Valentine's day as with many other holidays is the over play on the simple idea. Things are blown out of proportion for one day. If you don't get a Valentine you feel insufficient as a human being. It's a day where chance and fate seem to be amplified but only because we all have a desire how ever small it is that someone will take a chance. Valentines day becomes a lie of everything Valentine fought to provide for the common man.
RESOURCES
http://www.lhmint.org/valentines/story.htm
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